Argue To Fix An Issue: Learn How To Do It Right

I previously wrote a post on tips to avoid an argument. Then people started asking me, what if you can not avoid an argument at all? What if you really have to argue over an issue in order to fix it? Yes that’s true.You can do your best to avoid an argument but you cannot always guarantee it.

And I still hold on to the fact that arguments don’t solve an issue, but conversations do. So if you guys really wanna argue, let me tell you how to make a conversation to solve an issue.

There are always things in life you can’t avoid. If such is the case, you can still argue, without breaking the happiness or peace of mind in a relationship. Here are some tips on how to argue in order to find a solution:

Time and venue to argue:

To start with, don’t burst out at odd times and places to argue. It is very important that you argue at the right time and only in the right place. You just cannot enter your partner’s office and argue with him/her when he/she is in a meeting with his/her boss.

Similarly you should not argue with your partner when he/she is just returning from a busy day’s work. Time your argument wisely and choose a venue where you guys can sit and argue (probably converse) over the issue without any interruption. It will also be nice if the place is suitable for relaxation, so that it can soothe you over any heated up emotions.

Be receptive:

While this is almost impossible in an argument, it is one of the most important factors to make it work. An argument is nothing but a heated form of a conversation (not always though, it can also be a simple conversation too!), so it has to be two way. Listen what your partner is saying and then respond to it. You can afterward put your points on. Further, if your partner is saying something, do not interrupt.

Be patient:

If you don’t understand what your partner is saying, don’t be impatient. There is nothing wrong in asking again. Most of the times, misunderstanding in an argument leads to an avalanche of arguments leaving the issue unfixed. So it is better to first be clear about what the other person is saying before you start to respond.

Body language:

You need to avoid any kind of physically threatening or confrontational gestures while you are arguing. This could either threaten or sometimes could even aggravate your partner. Your argument will end up somewhere with no point. Rather, look into the eyes of your partner while conversing.

Further, do not laugh at your partner while he/she is saying something serious, do not point your fingers at your partner, do not clench your fists and so on. Let your partner know that you are serious about the issue and are listening to him/her. These are simple manners in a conversation.

Argue to come to a conclusion:

You both have now put some valuable time and energy in this argument, so try your best not to leave without a conclusion. It is always better to discuss and fix an issue in one session rather than going for multiple sessions. There are two disadvantages of going for multiple sessions.

First, you are not using your time and energy efficiently. Second, there are higher chances that you guys could build up and make the situation worse, since talking about a thing again and again will most probably create an avalanche. So whatever you say, keep in mind that you are there to solve the issue, and not to justify yourself or escape the situation.

Takeaway:

Avoid arguments before it happens. But if you cannot avoid that, I have given you some tips to argue (actually initiate and make a conversation) about the issue and find a solution. Make sure that at the end of your argument (conversation) you have the solution ready and make it a point that you are not going to talk about it at a later time.

Have you argued leading to a solution? What are your thoughts? Share them in the comments.

Photo by Feliciano

Photo by Feliciano