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Arguments Between Couples:6 Reasons why Couples Argue (and What to do About Them?)

Arguments Between Couples

Arguments are most common among couples. They are just part of the relationship. Arguments are both blessing and a curse to a relationship.

A single argument can lead to avalanche of arguments and misunderstandings leading to a substantial gap in the relationship between the couples. In this case you should always avoid the arguments. At the same time some arguments kindle thoughts, make the couples think of the pros and cons of an issue or a particular behavior. Arguments in this case helps the couple to analyze an issue and then come to a solution (or at least an alternate).

So in any case, as I have already said, arguments are unavoidable. And, personally I feel that even though arguments turn on the emotional side of the relationship, it will be too boring to have a relationship without arguments at all. I mean, even if a couple are ideal, they've got to disagree on something. That shows the individual's uniqueness.

Well let me tell you the most common reasons why couples argue. Some are bad while some do no harm.

Money issues lead to arguments:

When money comes in as an issue there normally comes in two or three more issues along with that. One of that will most probably be cheating and the other will be ego. Following are some of the most commonly occurring cases that lead to arguments with money in the scene:

1. One of the partner either does not earn or earns lesser than the other partner. In this case the (higher) earning partner may either dominate his/her partner. Or even if he/she doesn't dominate, the person who doesn't earn or who earns less will always have something poking inside. Each and every time he/she spends on something there will be tension in the air.

2. When one of the partner is too very controlling about family the other person has no enough freedom to spend money on whatever. So he/she might try to keep secrets on spending, which in turn can lead to new problems and arguments.

What to do about it?

When you feel that money is becoming an issue paving way to arguments, discuss it before it turns super hot. There is nothing wrong in sitting together and doing a budget or something with some coffee. You guys will have a time together at the same time try and fix something that is disturbing you.

While discussing, do not blame your partner for any expenses or loss in your financial status. Do not argue over what has happened, but just discuss on what has to be done. Come to a compromising mutual agreement if needed (if you really want to continue this relationship, there is nothing wrong in doing little compromises).

Don't bring in all your concerns at the same time. Fix issues one by one. Do multiple discussion sessions and solve money related issues one by one.

Ex:

This one is a hot issue. Exes are not so easy to eliminate. They show up often as issues for arguments between couples. Especially when the ex happens to be a friend of the couple, and if he/she happens to visit the couple often, heated moments sprout up easily.

Every word, posture and conversation with the ex can be irritating to the couple. It can create jealousy and hence the agitated partner will simply start an argument for no reason to ventilate this feeling.

What to do about it?

It'll be great if you can avoid meeting up with your ex in public places with or without your partner. Even if your ex is your friend (actually I don't quite really believe in this part) if you think 'ex' is causing an issue between you two, you must avoid meeting up to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Don't mention to your ex that there is a problem between you and your partner because of him/her. Some exes make good use of such situations.Do not compare your partner with your ex at any time; you will aggravate the situation. Do not fantasize (this will lead to new problems)

Space:

Space is a big issue when it comes to love relationships. It is because space is a matter of preference and it varies from person to person. And just because of this reason it is very important that one knows the partner's perspective on space. Some want more space, while some want very less space and spend more time with their partner.So space could easily become an issue since finding the right amount and implementing it is not easy!

what to do about it?

Get to know your partner well to avoid arguments on this issue.

Misunderstanding (not the big ones but the little ones):

Yes, as the heading says. Big misunderstandings are another story. But what about the very very little ones? Arguments do stem out of small little things and become great issues making room for many more arguments. I have seen couples arguing till divorce for issues such as not fixing a broken pipe.

What to do about it?

Just grow up.

Difference of opinion:

This is somewhat harmless compared to the others. It is always natural to have disagreements on matters in general, that is what makes every human unique. But yes arguing over a difference of opinion is just healthy. You can get to know your partner's perspective of the issue. You can just discuss stuff and argue about your view point.

What to do about it?

Actually you need not do anything with these arguments. But make sure that you do not force your partner to agree with you. Encourage and accept each others opinion without making them to be arguments and you should be fine.

Adjusting to new families:

This one is if you are newly married. You now have a strange group of people added to your family. You don't know much about their routines, practices, concerns, preferences, attributes and so on. So it is highly hard to adjust with them.

Moreover you should also strike the right balance between pleasing your partner and your own parents, if behaviors and concerns of these two parties differ substantially without making them to be big arguments.

What to do when this provokes arguments?

Wait for my detailed post on this issue.

What other reasons do you have to argue with your partner?


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Comments
  1. TracyAnn0312

    I would agree more at the misunderstanding situation. Many couples really get into misunderstanding situation where ex and time is involved. That can be the reason why they got misunderstanding!

    • Jane

      Very true Tracy!

      • TracyAnn0312

        Maybe I am definitely right Jane because it happen to me before. Thanks for taking your time to reply in my comment.

  2. Adetony

    Thanks Jane for some of the eyes opener issues concerning argument in relationship. A relationship without it for once cannot move forward because all things can’t be right as far as human relationship is concern. But when occurred especially meaningful argument, it bring out the best in the couple and corrections that need to be amended for a blissful relationship. I love the six reasons you highlighted above on why couple argue and how to go about them.

  3. Mike

    Yes misunderstanding is usually the culprit to some degree, but sometimes when it’s about a broken pipe, there’s an underlying issue that is much bigger, and more difficult to say out loud. Broken pipes represent complacency and neglect for example. Do you find that to be the case?

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