Break up has become so common these days. One thing to blame is the swiftness with which boys and girls get into a relationship; and then they are again quick in getting out.
Any relationship is indeed a relationship – doesn’t matter if it is a marriage relationship (which involves a promise or sort of an agreement that you get to stick to), or simply a love relationship, once you say “yes” to it, you are proclaiming yourself to be “taken”.
If you have different perspectives about this then you should better not say yes.
Anyway, in this age where marriage promises are also quite often easily broken and end up in divorce, it is not surprising that love relationships between unmarried boys and girls are so fragile.
They start so quickly and pretty much end up in breaking up so quickly as well.
And the story doesn’t end there – most couple want to get back after a break up – even if they don’t show the same at the outer.
In this post let me share 8 crucial tips you absolutely need to get your ex girlfriend back (yup for boys).
Get over with the emotional stuff FIRST (this is important)
As I’ve said, this is really important. When your mind is just fresh with all the emotional stuff that you went through very recently you cannot think clearly. You cannot think for the benefit of your relationship.
In general you cannot make any decisions wisely when you are emotionally turned on. So give yourself some time to cool off before you start taking the next step! And even before you think what your next step is.
Decisions made under emotional circumstances are usually wrong and mostly foolish. So you have a greater chance of making the wrong move and totally ruin things while you want just the opposite.
Give yourself enough time to cool off and then start thinking about getting your ex girlfriend back!
Don’t be annoying
Now that you really want her back it doesn’t mean that you can follow her all the time and tell her how you love her still! And it doesn’t mean you have to call her everyday and express your feelings for her.
She will find it really annoying.
Remember, you have given yourself the time to cool off and have decided to get your girlfriend back. But you don’t know what she’s thinking or in what kind of emotional state she is.
Without knowing her current state after breakup, if you start bombarding her with your moves, she will definitely run away from you.
You will also make things worse. Rather, spend time in knowing her current mindset somehow (you can seek the help of a friend, or you can follow her to some selected places without her knowing it).
Analyze on the reason why you broke up and try to fix it
Before you go to her and talk about this face to face or before you call her and discuss things straight, you have to do a self-analysis first!
What is it that caused you to break up in the first place? What was the cause of the conflict? What are all the possible causes for the conflict?
You have to ask yourself these and other similar questions and find out the core cause of the whole issue. This is very important because you don’t want to go and make up with her and then have the same problem haunting you again!
And it is most likely to happen so.
Hence, make sure you thoroughly analyze the situation or the cause that caused your break up in the first place.
Any alternate solutions?
Once you do the analysis, find out alternate solutions to the problem. And also do find out alternate solutions and back up plan for situations where the problem is most likely to occur again.
If you REALLY need your ex girlfriend back, there is nothing wrong with compromising a little here and there. It is not that you are going to change your whole self for the sake of your girl, but you are just letting yourself agree to do little things (even if you don’t like them) to have her back.
Contact her politely and genuinely
Whoa! Here’s where you make the actual move at the outside. You need to contact her. Yes you have to do it yourself. Don’t keep a middle man or a middle woman for this – coz you are the one who can explain your feelings for her extremely well.
If you can’t do it, no one else in the universe can do it better than you. So don’t seek the help of anyone!
When you contact her, on the phone or in person, make sure you don’t talk utterly pleading or compromising. At the same time, be genuine with your approach. Be honest in telling her how you feel.
Explain your current stand (be very honest here)
Don’t feel shy or hold back in telling her how badly you want her. Explain to her your current stand on the issue that caused your break up. And if an apology is needed just go ahead and apologize.
Don’t ever let your ego get in the way while you are actually talking to her in order to get her back and be together afterwards.
Here, I am not asking you to beg her pardon and plead. But if you realize that you need to apologize (regarding the issue that caused the breakup or something else that bothers her), don’t hold back.
Add emotions to the mix
Yup, love is an emotion right? Don’t be an emotionless talker when you are talking to her in an attempt to get her back. I am not telling you to bring up fake emotions. But if you DO have emotions, do not hesitate to show them!
If she has moved on to a new relationship, you MUST quit
Here’s an important bit of warning. If you do learn that she has moved on and if she has entered into a new relationship, you must quit on her.
Never ever go after a girl who has broke up with you and has moved on to a new relationship. It is not something I say out of anger, but it is generally not a good thing to do.
By entering a new relationship she has clearly made her point that she never wants to be with you. So there is no point anyway!