Money issues stand as one of the top reasons for divorce. And they’re no less serious! A very small money matter can soon develop into a big issue – big enough to rip your relationship apart!
If it is a credit card debt or a mortgage or whatever, you have the interests building up and before you even realize, the issue can really become bad if you do not discuss with your spouse!
Hence it is very important to go in the lines of “prevention is better than cure” when it comes to financial issues between couples. Let me discuss a few tips with you here so you can solve the financial issues well in advance and don’t have to argue or fight over it!
Communicate financial matters CLEARLY
Imagine me shouting the word “clearly” to you right now. You have to clearly talk these things out:
Who is responsible for paying bill X and who is responsible for paying bill Y?
So here I’m assuming that both the persons are earning – it doesn’t matter if it is from a full time job or a business or whatever. But it is important to sort out who attends to what bills and who is responsible for a particular expense, etc.
You have to clearly put the responsibilities of each of you so its clear to both of you!
However, if any one of you is the primary earner and the other is not earning at all, this question becomes pointless. Nevertheless, it is very important to get the responsibilities out as clearly as possible.
There is another thing that you need to communicate clearly – it is about “spending”.
If one of you is towards frugal living and saving and if the other is towards spending lavishly, you will soon run into issues and arguments.
So, say if you are the one who wants to cut costs and save, sit down and have a discussion with your spouse about this. If you do not let your spouse know, may be he/she won’t co-operate just because he/she didn’t know!
But once you tell him/her clearly that you are aiming on saving by doing such and such, he/she should be able to co-operate and cut costs with you.
And more importantly, make sure your partner is comfortable in doing something! For instance if you want to be too frugal this can affect the style of living and make sure you are not crossing the limits in imposing strict living “rules” on your partner.
Yes it is important to save money, but valuing money or material items over relationship is never a good thing.
There is a fine line. So make sure you do live frugally and save money, yet do not force your partner live a pathetic life!
Be totally honest with money matters
Most money issues build up as a horror when you try to hide it from your partner. Say you have a credit card debt and you want to cover it up as much as possible. But unless you have the “ability” to pay it off, you will run into issues and you will be forced to tell your partner (and seek his/her help) one day to settle that.
Debts, when they build up, stand as a really big horror. If you open up matters right from the beginning or even before they start, you could ease up a lot of things and avoid arguments.
It is good to always be open about the “generic” expenses that happen in a routine manner. And, if you plan to spend something out of your regular routine or if you plan to have fun alone (say a party or a trip with your friends) and if this is going to cost money (of course!) make sure you inform your partner well in advance. And also make sure that your monthly budget allows you for the same!
There is no point in hiding things while at the end of the day your partner should pay off what you spent! Even if your partner is not the one to pay, it is good to keep him/her informed!
Work as a team to keep your financial status in good shape
It doesn’t matter if both of you contribute to your financial income or not, it is very important that you work as a team. And it doesn’t matter if it is about income or expenses, remember, you gotta work as a team.
There is no point in going in different directions, holding secrets or being non-cooperative and in the end, pointing fingers at each other.
Always make sure you discuss things openly, involve your partner and be totally honest (the previous tips are really important!).
At the same time, be it saving or spending, make sure you guys work together, get help from each other and contribute as much as you can.
If you are not an income generator you can still contribute by helping your partner to save. You can be the one that introduces frugal options into your living style and make sure your partner’s hard earned money is not wasted.
Also discuss on efficient investment options to get even more out of your money.
Financial issues between couples: Takeaway
It doesn’t have to be hard to communicate things in a clear manner. If you gotta say “No” for a particular expense, don’t be afraid to say so to your partner. At the same time you don’t have to be rude. Just say politely and also make sure you both have enough room and space when it comes to financial matters.
Be free to spend for yourself; at the same time be sure to understand your current financial status and be within the limits.
Working as a team is highly important. When you are a team, you both understand your current status, work on increasing income and work on cutting costs – all together.
Never ever let money matters become a bug in your lovely love relationship!